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You can learn more from people’s questions than their answers
In any great conversation, questions are being sent back and forth as you go through various topics. While the answers to the questions are certainly a great way to gain insight on the other person, often the question itself will be revealing.
I recently heard Adam Grant sum it up like this:
“Don’t follow people because you agree with their answers, follow them because you respect the intellectual integrity that they bring to their questions”
There’s certainly a time and place for small talk, but the more quickly you can get to somewhat deeper talks, the better. Adam’s call for “intellectual integrity” is such an interesting phrase, and we see the lack of it quite often, particularly in divisive areas like politics.
For example, a few days ago someone on Reddit asked “ People who voted for Biden. How do feel he is doing? “, and the results were fascinating. Generally speaking, the comments that came in were well-balanced and fair, and that was due to the quality of the question. If it was simply “Do you like Biden?” or “Do you wish Trump had won?”, those questions aren’t all that different on the surface, but would have led to far different answers.
